What do you think of cohabitation or rather a sleeping partner?
Worldwide, it has been relatively accepted socially, especially the English countries. How about Singapore then? One interesting movie that I came across this Valentines’ got me thinking, are Singaporeans able to accept sleeping partners as a status of a relationship?
‘No strings attached’- 17 Feb 2011, in all cinemas, Singapore
Movie began with Emma (Natalie Portman) and Adam (Ashton Kutcher) as life-long friends for 15years. An accidental sex one morning almost ruin everything. To protect their friendship, they made a pact to keep their relationship strictly to ‘no strings attached’, just sex partners. There should be no jealousy, no love, no expectations, no fighting, no staring deeply into each other’s eyes, nothing of what couples would feel. But they can do whatever, whenever and wherever they want, even in public places, as long as they don’t fall in love.
Question comes, can you really have sex with someone over a substantial period of time, and without developing feelings for each other?
During childhood, Emma and Adam developed feelings for each other due to each others’ attractive physical appearance. As adults, physical appearance was not the only factor that brought each other together. Sex appeal comes in.
After the first accidental sex they had in the morning, Adam text-ed Emma, but there was no response. Due to the one-way communication, Adam thought the feelings he had, could be just one-sided. Trying his luck for the second time, Adam brought a Congrats balloon down to Emma’s hospital to surprise her, and also asked regarding her no-response to his text. Emma admit her fear and inability in communicating with her partner in a relationship, instead, she would avoid. Without communication, how far can a relationship develop?
The next few texts exchanged between both suggested only sex. On the next meeting, they concluded to treat each other as sleeping(sex) partners. Relationship began with exchange, expecting only sex as relational benefit from each other in this movie context.
Apart from Singaporean’s ability to accept ‘sleeping partners status’, shouldn’t we also look at how we treated our relationship? In reality, aren’t we attracted to each other through physical appearance first too, then slowly looking at the other ‘benefits’ of our partners? But may be we never realised we did. Do you?
Nataliexclusive 
Your post reminds me of ‘The Mermaid Theory’. Basically, the theory says that the more time a guy spends with a girl no matter how ugly she is (a manatee), he will eventually see her as beautiful (a mermaid).
Thus, I believe that ‘sleeping partners’ will eventually meet a very nasty end if they do not fall in love with each other, as one party will surely develop feelings for the other and things would get complicated if this is not returned. The other party may end up falling for someone else and this would spoil the entire arrangement.
Yes, definitely feelings would develop over time. But I have friends who have sex partners, as well as girlfriends. To them, having sex partners did not affect their relationships, because guides marked from the beginning of the no-commitment relationship have prevented all unnecessary consequences.
While the concept of friends with benefits may be fun, in the long run it is detrimental to the individuals’ relationship with each other. A relationship based on sex is unlikely to be stable as a strong, lastung relationship requires a certain sense of emotional attachment to the other party.
At the end of the day, it depends on the motives of the individual. People involved in these types of relationships must be aware of the longevity and risks.
I think this kind of relationship are more socially accepted in the westernised countries. Singapore might still be a little conservative on such issue.
Sex partners is quite predominant in Singapore today. This could be due to the westernised influence to the society. There is no right or wrong to this issue. But in the long run of a relationship with benefit and no status might result in a change in one’s personality. No status comes with no responsibility. Would he be a responsible man next time when he has to settle down? Or would he continue his ‘no commitment’ relationship behind his wife as an act of adultery?
As a young man, I do not mind ‘no-status’ relationship. May be because commitment seems to be a high price to pay when you do not have intention to settle down for the relationship. The process of dating is always the best of all times, further down, it’s just the price to pay for the sweet happenings.
Physical appearance plays an important role in establishing a relationship. If I find the girl pleasing to my eyes, I would not mind taking a step further to know her based on personal reasons. Nonetheless, if the girl is only average looking but her character or personality attracts me, I will still be with her. But knowing someone’s character would need time and interaction. Physical appearance is an instant factor.
On the other hand, relationships with benefits may not seem that bad after all. Look on the bright side of this situation. May be feelings might develop after a trial run of the relationship?